...a sibling bond so genuine, so natural, yet so fragile... 
...it could cause such hurt, such pain, such emotion when a bully uses the "R" word ?
A message from Joyce: This is a continuation of an ongoing saga...
click here to read more.
Saturday morning my cell phone rang. Sarah and I had just arrived at the stadium and decided to sit in a campus bus shelter while we waited for game time. Parked in front of us was The Ohio State University Police Special Investigation paddywagon. Ironic for what I was about to hear. On the other end of the phone was RG's mom. She wanted to know if we had heard from the police. She had and was asked to bring RG into the police station to make a statement. I told her we were out of town, but I would call home to check our messages. This is what I heard...
We have been living with this situation for two weeks now, so my thought process is well massaged. Had this call come in the day after Matt punched Gus for calling his girlfriend "retard" multiple times, I would have been angry. I'm sure of it.
But after looking at the situation with more rational eyes and reading the many wonderful comments from our readers - Thank You - I see this as more of a teaching opportunity. An experience to learn from and to share with others.
Yet as I sat in that bus shelter I started to wonder...will we ever really get the general population to understand? Just that morning when I signed into Yahoo a big headline popped up about Guy Richie declaring he still loves Madonna, "but she is so retarded." What does that mean? Then there is the new Chris Rock documentary released on Friday. Al Sharpton describes the fact that more black hair salons are owned by whites and Asians as "economic retardation." Lisa over at Finnian's Journey did a great post about it this weekend. If you watch the latest episodes of the Kardashian sisters that play over and over and over on the "E" network, you hear Khloe call Kourtney "retard" multiple times in just one half hour segment. The word is everywhere.
So how are we to get others to understand the pain caused to our families by the over use of this term in a hurtful, derogatory way? One small step at a time. I'm not sure what the motivation is for Gus's mom to turn to the police in this matter. Was Matt wrong to punch? Of course. But this was not just some streetyard brawl over typical twelve year old stuff. This involved something greater, far greater. Yet to the family that does not have a member with a diagnosis of mental retardation defined by the Stanford Binet scale, they just do not understand what we are thinking, what we are talking about. I get that. I really do.
Our first task though is to get Matt to the police station for an interview. My gut tells me we best involve an attorney in this matter. But how does one find a defense attorney that can see the bigger picture, that understands our mission? One who has worked with juveniles.
At this point, I decided to go back to watching the fans walk in front of us. No point in taking the fun out of the day. On football Saturday there are more than 105,000 fans all clad in scarlet and gray. It truly is a sight. An event one has to experience to really appreciate. The Ohio State University has become the largest college campus in America with 57,000 plus students. Yet to me, it seems as intimate as a big family. I recalled the time I had come down for a meeting in the middle of the week and as I walked out of the parking garage I heard, "Hi Mrs. Ely." I looked up and it was my next door neighbor. And that's when it hit me...
...our next door neighbor...Mr. D...the defense attorney. I called John to tell him the situation and suggest he call our neighbor. When I walked into the house on Sunday evening, John had just hung up from that call. Mr. D. he told me, he gets it. He totally understands about the "R" word and will take the case. Of course he understands. He and his family have lived next to us since Sarah was an infant. He has watched her grow up. He has endured the lights and sirens each time we summoned the ambulance in the middle of the night. He just happened to be behind the car that came dangerously close to hitting Sarah the time she ran into the street. He has watched our boys protect their sister. I started to get that feeling again, the one that questions was this all By Chance or By Design...
We decided to make treat bags this year just like we make for Meals on Wheels.
This year we used little candy ghosts and pumpkins from Malley's Chocolates.
MY mom decided at the last minute to be a Cheetah Girl. She put this costume together in like two minutes...
...haaaaa. It's her new Snuggie from Grandma. She put a belt around it to hold it up. Just don't turn around mom:) 
Matt got out one of his favorite scary masks. He and his friends were going to hide in the bushes and scare kids when they walked by. My mom told him, "No little kids." My dad said he was going to dress up as a "tired old man." Funny. Happy Halloween everybody.
