My Name is Sarah

MY NAME IS SARAH. I am a quilt designer and the sewcial director of Sarah's Sewcial Lounge. I also have a business called Down Right Charming. I sell my quilts mostly on etsy and I make pillowcases to donate to patients in the hospital in memory of my friend Kristen Kirton. I am a young adult living with Down syndrome. I hope you enjoy reading about my journey.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Forever in Holland

My dearest Sarah,  I remember a time many years ago, when I could look at one of the first signs of spring and see simply flowers.

With their tall green leafy stems, their round pointy petals in a kaleidoscope of colors, I could stare at them for hours and still see only tulips.  And then you entered my world.  Your arrival rocked me to the core for a short while.  My firmly grounded feet felt like they had all of a sudden encountered murky soil.  With each new step, I was unsure of my future. Our future. Before I could fully embrace your existence, I had to endure a series of tests and trials.  Not all of them pleasant. In fact, I still carry the pain of a few to this day.  Yet, God had a plan for us Sarah.  For you and me sweet girl.
I will never forget the first time another more experienced mom shared with me the poem, Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley.  It gave me a new found hope. I wasn't sure I was in agreement with the idea that I was heading to Italy, yet I sure knew I wasn't planning on hitting Holland either.  I had a future mapped out.  It included a Career. Money. Status. Maybe even Fame. I was headed for great things. I was sure of it. Your extra chromosome wasn't written into that plan.  It took me a few months, but eventually I threw that old plan away. Truthfully, for a few years though, I hated the sight of tulips.  Gradually, I grew to appreciate them and what they stood for. A different place. Still beautiful, but different. 

We have been through a lot precious girl. I've held you in my arms far too many times not sure if your next breath will come.  Just this afternoon as we were driving down the highway, I looked back through my rear view mirror, and wondered if your fragile body was going to recover from a desperate coughing spell. One that forced us to pull off at the next exit. I asked my God, why? Why today? Why after all these years?

Then we turned the corner and there they were. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them. Scarlet and pale yellow tulips. We are in Holland Sarah. Forever in Holland. Beautiful, beautiful Holland. 
If only I knew back then what I know today. That the miracle of your birth was just the beginning for me. A fresh start to a grand and glorious life. I do wish I had realized sooner, that you were sent to teach me. To allow me to see the light through your eyes. To feel your love, a love like none other. It is so pure. So precious. So unconditional. If only I had been given just a glimpse of the bright and beautiful woman you were to be. I'm learning sweetheart. I need your patience for me to truly appreciate the plan that was outlined for us. God has known all along where we are going. 

Later today, we have a meeting. A discussion that will help shape the future, not just our future, but the future of others on this vast Ohio State University campus. You are a pioneer girlfriend. How very blessed I am to be invited to ride a long.

As I look over your shoulder and see the infamous Ohio Stadium, I am reminded of the times you needed to be removed from the game festivities due to breathing issues, once involving a police escort. It makes the symbolism of the tulips today even greater. You are larger than life itself Sarah. Helping to change the world. I am truly privileged to be your mom, and oh so very grateful that my plane landed in Holland.  

16 comments:

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

tears...of happy and hope...thank you! cannot wait to hear about your journey...and the BIG O!! smiles

Catherine Holloway said...

You no doubt totally train wreck my pain and evil thoughts today and put me on the right track. thank you once again Joyce♥

:aurie Kowalski said...

Beautifully written! I always loved tulips, now I love them even more---thank you for sharing!

Darlene Gerber said...

Joyce what beautiful pictures of Sarah and the Tulips!! Hope you have a great meeting and a safe trip home!!

Kristin said...

Great post!
Ironically, we were at a local tulip festival when we got the call asking if we'd like to adopt a baby boy with Down syndrome. Can't believe our Max is already two!! We love the tulip festival even more now :)

RK said...

Lovely. The girl. The flowers. And the sentiment.

(And if you need a new header to match your new design, don't hesitate to ask.)

JRS said...

You have me in happy tears and furious nods of agreement. Beautiful.
---Jen

Mama Mason-Mann said...

Very nice Joyce. Thanks for sharing with us.

starrlife said...

That is a true Mothers day post - isn't every day Mothers Day? :) Gorgeous.

Katie said...

This is beautiful. Really beautiful!!
I try each day to appreciate the beauty, wonders, sights, and sounds of Holland. I would LOVE to have seen the tulips...and yes...I need to see them each and everyday/ Thank you for stopping by. I need more friends in Holland. Even miles and miles away : )

Fran Wright said...

This is the most beautiful post I have ever read. You are a strong spiritual woman Joyce. Thank you for raising us up to see that which we should in our lives.

Jenny said...

I loved this!!! So beautiful :)

Stacy said...

Beautifully put!!!

Mariska said...

Beautiful post. I am from Holland, living in the US. Our baby girl is 6 months, and she has Down syndrome, too. We knew already early in the pregnancy. The genetic counselor gave us this poem, I had already read it, thought it was ironic, since to me there is no better place than Holland...

Anonymous said...

Tearfully beautiful. I wish all those considering termination would have a chance to read this. You and your daughter are an inspiration to many.

MYPINKRAINBOW said...

wish there were more moms like you in the world , we would have a lot more happy children,...