Twenty Years Ago Today...by Joyce
This is the first still photo I have of TJ and Sarah together after she came home with her trach. I worried some about how he would respond, yet at the tender age of two he had already demonstrated that he had such an incredible maturity about him that I didn't make much of a deal. And once again, he proved to be a constant companion. He loved to have her come into his bed after bath time and they would just lay there, mostly in silence. Tonight it looks like he was showing her all the fun things to do with his Teach Me Mickey Mouse. I would love to know what he was thinking. He looks so serious. Sarah was mesmerized by his every move. She adored him. Still does.
The sibling bond is not an issue I have intimate experience. As an only child, my understanding can strictly come from observation and study. This past year, I have actually spent a great deal of time reading on the subject. I even met with a woman who has made it her profession to do just that, study siblings. I wanted to try to understand what makes some sibling groups functional and others dysfunctional. I'm not sure there will ever be a clear answer to that question, but there are some general principals that seem to help, empathy for the other(s), the ability to put your sibling's needs before your own and the maturity to apologize instead of argue when you're wrong. When I was given this list, I commented that it really is not any different than maintaining an adult relationship with a friend. As a mother, I can only encourage and pray that my boys and their sister will maintain a positive relationship throughout their lifetime.