My Name is Sarah

MY NAME IS SARAH. I am a quilt designer and the sewcial director of Sarah's Sewcial Lounge. I also have a business called Down Right Charming. I sell my quilts mostly on etsy and I make pillowcases to donate to patients in the hospital in memory of my friend Kristen Kirton. I am a young adult living with Down syndrome. I hope you enjoy reading about my life journey.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

In Violation of R.C. 2903.13(A)

The official complaint arrived in the mail. It reads:

THE UNDERSIGNED, being first duly sworn, says that he has knowledge of a certain child, to wit, Matthew Ely, age 13, who appears to be a DELINQUENT child in that:

COUNT 1: In the County of Geauga, State of Ohio, on or about October 2, 2009 said child did knowingly cause or attempt to cause physical harm to another, to-wit: said juvenile punched Gus in the face several times, contrary to and in violation of R.C. 2903.13(A) Assault, a misdemeanor of the first degree, if committed by an adult.

SUMMONS(order to appear)TO SAID JUVENILE and named parties(parents). You are hereby summoned and ordered to personally appear before this court on the 2nd of December.

Now here is the kicker:

Notice to Parent

If your child is found to be delinquent or unruly, Ohio law authorizes the Court to place the child in the protective supervision of Geauga County Job and Family Services, or other out of home placement. As a parent, you have the right to be represented by legal counsel.

However would we explain that to Miss Sarah? That the bond between them be broken due to a bully continually harassing and using the R word over and over and over even though he had been asked to stop multiple times.

We so appreciate the support so many of you have given as we have described this ordeal. However, the last time I posted about this incident we had a comment from someone who referred to herself as KDR. I wish she would have given us a little more info. It could be Kathy, Kendra, is what she had to say:

I love reading your blog. I think it's so amazing the love your family has. But I have to say I'm a little put off by some of the comments.To this boy, the R word is not bad. Just like to some in the south the N word isn't bad. He was not raised to know not to use that word. No, he shouldn't have said it. Yes, your son had a reason to be very upset. But if someone ever hit my son damn straight I would call the cops. No matter what was said punches were thrown.If your son was hit in the face by another kid you would be upset, anyone is lying if they say they wouldn't be. If everyone got hit in the face everytime someone said something someone else didn't like everyone would have a black eye.I hope it all works out for you and your family and I'm glad you found someone so close to the situation to help.

Readers have asked why I did not delete this comment. And here's why: I believe that is the thought process of so many. "To this boy the R word is not bad." And that is why we need to use this case to make sure that others hear that YES IT IS. It is bad to use the R word. IT HURTS.

Should Matt have punched. NO. He knows that. He has already written a post about it so others might learn from his mistakes. We hope that something is learned from this in the courtroom. Matt is ready to stand up and take his punishment. Whatever it might be, as long as the court hears that yes, the R word is BAD.


AZ Chapman said...

Matt is not a deliquent oh I hope everything turns out all right for Matt. Know rhat I support u and Matt 100%

Rochelle said...

We will keep praying for this situation and truly hope that the court does hear AND understand about the R word!

Molly said...

I actually just teared up. at the thought of him being removed? no way.

also, check out this link

Another brother like matt. Passionate about the r word, passionate about protecting his sister too!

JRS said...

Do we need to form a contingent to follow Matt to court? I'm in!

Scarehaircare said...

The comment by K has merit but she dimisses one thing: Bullying is verbal abuse. That verbal abuse was malicious and with the intent to hurt. Verbal abuse can hurt every bit as much as those punches.

Carol N. said...

Sorry I've been out of the loop until this post - somehow I missed it. Just want to say I'm sorry you guys are having to go through this - but I certainly hope it works out for Matt, and that the other kid is put in his place. At least awareness that words are as hurtful as punches.

Perhaps more so.

KDR said...

This is KDR.

I did not write my comment anonymously so that you wouldn't know who I was, but because I didn't want my family blog lit up because people didn't like what I had to say.

Scarehaircare- I agree! I wish I would have added that to my comment. What that other boy did was WRONG. What he said was out of line.

I just wanted everyone to know that the parents aren't monsters for being upset and even as harsh as it is calling the cops. They need to teach their child manners and he does need to learn that words hurt. They want justice just like you do.

My name is Kim and Joyce if you would like, I can e-mail you and no longer be anonymous.

I hope everything works out and Matt can continue to be his sisters biggest fan. You really so have a beautiful family.

Adelaide Dupont said...

I remember very well the Notice for Being Unruly that Julie Gregory (author of the international bestseller Sickened) received. It was completely fabricated, like much else in her first 22 years of life, by her factiously disordered mother - with the complicity of the Ohio police of that time.

Deliquency requires a repeated act. Will say nothing about the laws in Ohio.

The punches would be a first-degree assault if done by an adult?

And thank you KDR for explaining your position.

I would suggest when the children are about 10 years old to talk to them about these laws and how they could affect them. The schools can and should do this too. The progressive criminal/civic responsibility is confusing even for adults of full cognition and standing.

Anonymous said...

I truly wonder if the other boy knows what he did is wrong? I truly wonder if the parents of the other boy accept their responsibility in this case for NOT teaching their child right from wrong?

I wish you the best in your court case. I will be thinking of you guys on Dec 2nd!


Kristen said...

Good luck. I pray that all of this will turn out helping the world be a little better place to live.

Kim Rees said...

I will pray that everything works out for Matt and your family. God Bless You! ((hugs))

Mommyto2 said...

Prayers. This just seems harsh. What about kids that fight at school. Are they charged with assault? These are teenagers, with hormones that they do not understand. I just think this is a bit extreme. Sorry you are having to go through this. HUGS!!!

ABandCsMom said...

OMGosh! This is horrible. I can not believe it has gone this far.

As for the fool who posted about the R word meaning nothing. That person is exactly that. A fool!

Cops didn't need to become involved. I believe the cops have more pressing issues at hand. Such as the father in Highland Park Mi, who shot his 15 year old son to death on Monday. Because the 15 year old told his mom he had sexual encounters with a 3 year old girl. Now that is WRONG! However, this father is bound to get off. The cops are saying that poor old daddy was pushed to the limits upon learning of this. With no questions asked, he made is 15 year old son strip down naked, marched him outside to a vacant lot. Had the boy kneel down and then the dad shot and killed his own son. This is the type of thing cops need to be involved in. NOT kids throwing punches because of insults toward others.

We will continue to pray for your family. And for the best possible outcome.

Anonymous said...

I will pray that when sweet Matt can get in front of the judge and explain, he won't be punished. He shouldn't. This is ridiculous. I am praying and thinking of you.

one_plustwins said...

Wow, Joyce, I am just stunned. This is not a matter that should have ever gotten this far and to see this bully's parents go to these links proves he learned his bullying at home.

Any parent worth a salt (flame on I don't care) should want to teach their child RESPECT and not to bully. It is because of kids like the bully that kids kill themselves after succumbing to self-loathing thoughts fed by the bully attacks. Shame on him.

If I were in Matt's shoes I would have done the same thing. Is it right. No. But I would have done the same. In the 6th grade, there was a young man in the 7th grade who continually made fun of me on the bus. One day he called me a whore (I didn't even know what a whore was but I knew enough to know it wasn't good) and I cold-cocked him right there. Laid him out flat. We both went to the principals office and he got expelled for a week, I got detention for a day. But he never made fun of me again. Was it right? No, but at that very moment it was the conceivable way (in my juvenile mind) to get him to leave me alone and it worked.

I pray the judge takes heed to Rosa's law and has mercy on Matt. This is not something a child, defending his sister, should ever have to deal with. When the bully will get off with nothing. A punch will fade in time, but the echoes of the "R" word will last a life time.

Cammie Heflin said...

I can't wait to find out what happens. I so hope that everyone in that courtroom gets to see the bond between Matt and Sarah and the fact that Matt blew his cool because of the love he has for his precious sister.

sheree said...

yeah, sorry KDR but your reasons aren't valid. If MY son called someone the "N" word over and over after being asked to stop and he then was PUNCHED as a result...I think I might believe he deserved it?

Just sayin'

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry it's gone this far that this whole court date is now looming for your family. Fights happen all the time with teenagers, I never thought it could result in something like this.

Hoping that the court will realize this was a first time 'offense' for Matt, see that he has no history of violence, has good character, and won't resort to removing him from the home! Sending prayers.

Karen said...

Oh, guys. My heart aches for the whole situation. We'll be praying for Matt and the court hearing and Sarah, and all the parents involved on both sides. I'd like to think that the judge will see this for what it was and dismiss the case with a warning to both boys.

Anonymous said...

Matt, I remember a day when my own son Matt punched a child for just the same reason. I have to say I was horrified, and called the principal at school to help iron things out. This boy had called his sister the R word several times. The world does know this isn't right. I'm sorry for your troubles, but I know there is only so much a person can taken, when someone demeans another that we love. We don't see R, we see loving, wonderful, fragile, special. I will pray for you Matt I know you are a nice kid.